How Chasing Happiness Can Keep You Stuck

How Chasing Happiness Can Keep You Stuck

In our world today, we hear a lot about how we could chase happiness. To just “follow the bliss.” How we need to be grateful. That once we achieve that stage of life, it will become happy. The truth is that our highest state of existence is not static. It is forever changing. As we open to growing deeper into ourselves, we experience more narrow passageways. Those that have us question whether we are ready to be brutally honest with ourselves and remove ourselves from the constant distractions and lies we may be living. We are told to be all sorts of things, yet rarely given insight into what the path may look like. We are sold several tricks and tips, hoping that a lasting change will be created with the snap of a finger. We see people meditating for hours on end, not wanting to come back to reality. We see the spiritual tattoos, the desire to ‘retreat’ from life and travel, the pulling away from anything that feels ‘bad.’ Yet, this is only the beginning of the journey. Nothing worthwhile has a quick fix remedy.

Any change in human behavior takes much honesty with self, attention, and practice. Especially as we embark on the path of knowing ourselves deeply. Ultimately, the foundation that leads us to our joy, our purpose, our sense of freedom. And the most fulfilling and connected relationship with our children.

We speak to our members at Raising Humanity about the path of awakening to our higher selves, or that version of ourselves that consistently acts in truth and love. We want to share just how those stages look, and why being caught in the ‘blissful’ stage may keep you stuck.
Do be mindful that this is not a linear path and you may experience these stages differently than shared below.

Here it is –

1. DISCOMFORT – Something feels off. You can’t quite put your finger on it. You may start to hear whispers, nudging you to in a direction that you may not have considered before. You may feel discomfort in your body, you may find yourself more reactive. This may be the first time other than childhood, where you are called to slow down and listen to yourself, in place of being guided by noise in the outside world. You may find yourself spending more time alone in this stage, contemplating why life doesn’t make as much sense to you anymore. Why the things that fulfilled you don’t seem to be doing so anymore. You may start to see some of the illusions that life carries, and question the integrity of those around you who are not living in their truth. You may be finding yourself judging yourself for the self-betrayal that may have led you to this place of not living in your truth.

2. OPENING AND BLISS – this stage will likely invite you to pull away from some of the distractions. You may take on practices such as meditation, better care for your body through healthy food, and worry less. It may be the first time in a long time you feel that another possibility exists in the way of your future. Your heart begins to open, and you feel lighter and more alive than you did through the confusing stage that preceded this one. You may find yourself gravitating towards others who are also finding their way and wanting to be intentional about living their lives with intention. We can be caught in living a perfectly blissful life that we simply don’t want to deal with anything that feels dark or unfriendly. Be careful, however, as this stage can last many, many years if we continue to resist the next.

3. FACING OUR OWN TRUTH – this can be an extremely difficult stage to embrace. Some refer to it as the ‘dark night’ of the soul. It can feel alone, especially after the blissful stage. This is also why many resist this stage, as it feels like a drastic contrast to what we had once experienced. When we deny what is covering our deeper truth, we show up to life fragmented. We are doing all that
we can to hide, or run away from emotional charge that is held in our body based on past events, and substitute with This stage will require you to face your own darkness, or shadows, that you have yet to integrate into your life so you can live in your fullness. It can feel that
nothing is stable in our lives, and there is no future. We are disidentifying in this stage from so much that has kept us trapped in our identity, so letting go of the old and familiar can be very scary for most. The key to this stage is getting the support you need. Having people who
have walked the path, and can guide you from a place of allowing you to move through what your soul is asking you to but also remind you of the light within you.

4. INTEGRATION AND REGROUNDING IN OUR KNOWING – When we get to this stage, we have typically reacclimatized to life and have a sense of knowing that we belong. We are beginning to understand the non-duality, and see that our whole selves encompass all emotions and ways of
being. We may eventually start to reconnect™ with those around us, in a way that is loving and invites in much more compassion than ever before. We start to grow a more solid foundation in this stage, knowing that there is no turning back from living in our truth and uniqueness. We may still find ourselves in a gray zone, not knowing what is next, but there is a sense of knowing that all will be well.

5. DISCOVERING YOUR PURPOSE – We start to emerge into the world, speaking our truth. We may find ourselves writing, or speaking in our stories, to help those who may have struggled with similar pains. In this phase that continues for the rest of our soul’s journey in this lifetime, we find ourselves magnetized to others energetically. There is little figuring out to do on the outside. We are analytical when we need to be, but our lives are driven by our hearts. We don’t question our value in the world, and we see that all is in perfect divine order as it’s meant to be. We continue to grow and most past old thresholds but do so with more ease and grace as we have a deep trust in the world and ourselves.

The process above can take years and years. Continue to surround yourself with those who are walking a path that honors their unique evolution. It is very supportive to have others witness you on the journey, and remind you that you are exactly where you are meant to be. There is no rush to move forward, as it will all unfold as it’s meant to. If you try and charge ahead, or pull back from the next phase, you will find the resistance resurfacing, leading to more struggle than necessary. Our own anxiety is similar to a reflection of our resistance to what is.

Remember that the bliss can very often be a distraction, from us doing our real work. Continue to
appreciate the moments where you feel in perfect alignment while knowing that all of the other
moments are there to support your journey equally.