My two children were the catalyst for my leap into immersive self-discovery over the last number of years, and a deep dive into what conscious living looks like.
My life looked perfect on the outside, but something was missing. There was this feeling of being in a robotic trance with blinders on. I didn’t know how to voice it, but I knew there was more.
I wanted a different path for my kids, and generations ahead. I wanted them to live their authentic truth every day — not mine. For them to experience what true freedom would feel like, to live a life of passion and aliveness, and not hierarchical oppression. To take 100% responsibility for their lives without blaming or looking to the faults in outside systems, so they could co-create the most magnificent life with the universe
My parents had given me allowance to explore my own edges from an early age, which gave me even more assurance on this journey to deviate from conformity and containment.
I began the excavation of my own conditioning within my cellular memory, after I saw my own patterning showing up in my children. Though it is never too late to heal the family lineage of its attachment to what once was, most of the subconscious patterning in our being is present by the age of 7. It was time for me to get to work.
I’m about 2000 hours in now, just in the last 18 months. And my commitment to the highest version of self is at the top of my list each and every day. What I allow myself to step into, I give permission for those around me to embrace. Fear keeps up stuck; love is what expands our consciousness.
A 3-year transpersonal counselling program, in-depth coaching and training with multiple coaches, healers and experts for a few years now, have all been beautiful opportunities to keep unravelling the layers and staying accountable to being fully present.
Children truly show us all unmanifested parts of ourselves. That which we are triggered by is exactly proportionate to what we are needing to heal. The control, the blame, the shame, the judgment — all reflections of what it is that we can’t let go of for ourselves.
It is a tremendous amount of work to go through creating a life that is completely unique to you and claim 100% responsibility for what we have manifested. It takes a lot of courage to stand for yourself, in place of what those around you may believe you should be or what the systems have taught you to be. It can feel very difficult to allow painful feelings to arise that are associated with subconscious programming that we don’t even know is present within our system. It is difficult to take our parents off the pedestal and have the necessary and honest conversations about what isn’t working anymore within the family framework.
We need authentic support and people who have walked the journey alongside us to move past the stuckness. We also need to believe that we are worthy enough to take intentional time for ourselves, instead of acting out in the world for approval and love.
I travelled many parts of the world seeking the best teachers and wisdom in ancient land, to help me understand and embody what it is that we are here to do. And it is an ongoing journey to meet more of myself each and every day, but my commitment to seeing myself as I am is my greatest truth and love.
A new way is possible, out of the playing small, hiding out, egoic mind and pushing back in fear. Of saying our ‘work’ is done and there is no more clearing to do. This is the process of a parent, to become an open vessel with no expectations of what their child needs to be for the world. It is in this allowing that we are reminded of who we truly are, without all of the masks and roles and responsibilities — we are, most simply put, the essence of love and innocence. And when we can see ourselves as such, we can see another as such. This is the end of the drama cycles, war, depression, substance misuse, and so much more we become attached to curing on the outside.
There are no shortcuts, but with the right guidance, the unfolding can be much more fluid and graceful than trying to find the way on your own. The journey from the head to the heart is the longest one we take in this timeline, but also the most gratifying.
This is the path that we all have a chance to walk down, once we see that what we have been chasing and attaching to isn’t the reason for our existence — we aren’t meant to live a life of exhaustion, judgment, anxiety, struggle, separation from love, nor attachment. Life is meant to flow, offer deep joy, safety that allows for all feelings, true connection, and an opening to just BE.
It is in identifying our own worth that we decide to work on ourselves and live a truly expansive life that is true to us. And to just simply be present to the unfolding of life as it is.
We know that you deserve more, as do your children. Nature is pushing back and asking us to come back into balance — it is time, and truly never too late to fully embrace all that is available to us in this human experience.