Yes, you live within the confines of a societal framework. Most of what society suggests you do and be is deeply imprinted in the subconscious, or the part of the brain where things are not so obvious to us in our daily lives.
But, as citizens of this planet, there are practical responsibilities. It is important for you to be reasonably civilized, depending on where you find yourself. It is necessary to mind others to some extent. To allow grace and patience to enter your life when making changes that involve others.
That said, there is a lot of pressure to keep it all together. To balance the inner and outer desires. And more often than not, we allow the outside to outer to overtake the inner. The mind to rule the heart. The logic to block out the intuition.
Most of this is due to our fear of not fitting in, belonging or being loved. It has been learned by each of us early on that we need to make others happy. Living as someone other than who we are is practiced from childhood. In every one of us. Primarily during the first six years of life, where our survival was dependant on those around us, and we learned to bend to everyone’s needs but our own. And so, the true self that fuels our creativity, our love for ourselves, our richest desires, was forgotten.
As a result, we become adults who are overwhelmed by the thinking mind. Not really knowing what we want or how to go about it. We put our upsets on others, as we have learned that the solutions always come from outside of us. We stop trusting ourselves and hide our gifts away. Living this way allows us to be easily controlled, and manipulated, as we once were as children. Because taking a stand gracefully, for a life that is aligned with our values, feels terrifying. It is much easier to keep playing small and keeping our kids there too.
And so, we arrive at where we are today. Relying on all sorts of bandaid solutions to ‘fix’ our mental and emotional distress, from weight loss to vacations. Yet, we are missing the point. We are not really seeing what is driving the imbalance within. Hoping that it can be remedied quickly so that we can return to life as it once was. Productive, effective and flawless.
Fortunately, particularly during these unprecedented times as a planet, we are seeing the cost of not being authentic more and more clearly.
Yes, re-meeting your true self is a life-long process. Feeling safe in your own unique expression, and being willing to share your innate gifts, is probably the most vulnerable and courageous act of service to yourself, and the world. For this is the path to lasting joy, fulfillment and freedom. In which case, you don’t spend your life getting the approval of others (including your parents, and your own children!) to live life in a way that serves you.
Here are some signs that you are becoming more authentic:
- Expressing your feelings truthfully, without having to cover them up based on others’ expectations
- Staying present to the moment now, without distractions such as eating, phone use, socialization, numbing feelings
- Beginning to prioritize your self-care over social engagements
- Setting healthy boundaries through your day, and not over-committing your schedule
- Trusting your intuition, and making decisions from that place
- Stepping out of your comfort zone, and taking chances on yourself. Investing in yourself
- Honestly taking a look at the beliefs you hold, that drive your adult behaviours
- Accepting your own version of success, of beauty, of fulfillment fully and acting from that place
- Knowing you are enough, no matter what
- Knowing and living as per your values, and allowing others to live according to theirs
- Not depriving yourself of what brings you pleasure
- Forgoing convenience and comfort, and making decisions consciously – re your linework, food choices, use of personal items, how you raise your children, etc.
- Letting go of toxic relationships more easily and readily, without judgement of yourself or guilt
- Showing up to conversations feeling empowered and truthful, and willing to be uncomfortable in them
- Moving towards your life purpose – not due to a need to fill a void but knowing your personal story is to be shared and inspire others
We understand that all of the above is easier said and done. That is why we support you on your journey back to your true self. As that version of you may feel unfamiliar. Unsafe. And even silly to go back to. That true version we were born as and began to give up at the age of 1 or 2, may feel impossible to reconnect with through adulthood.
But what we know is our tears, our time for play and adventure and our creativity is necessary for our adult fulfillment. The journey back to your true self is worth it. You not only free yourself but many of those around you who you have unconsciously held to be a certain way to support your limiting beliefs or patterns.
Allow yourself to be free. And with that, for those around you to be free. Particularly your children. They do indeed deserve a chance at being in their own full and authentic expression in this lifetime.